I got my first hate comment yesterday. I dithered over whether to publish it or not, and then I thought fuck it. I’m gonna put it right here in the middle of this post and write about it instead. So here goes, Elise whatsername, you got front row seats and your name up in the limelight:
Oh good grief. Wean your child. Put him in daycare for a half day or day. GET A JOB! Instead of living off someone and whining all the time, why don’t take a little responsibility. Maybe instead of blowing money on vacations (your whole life is a vacation – do you want your son to grow up with your values?), hire someone to help clean your house so you can get your life in order. Your “poor pitiful me” attitude is stifling – no wonder you are tired. Go the doctor, get some help. You have a beautiful little boy, get yourself together for both your sakes.
My whole life is a vacation?? Get a job?? WTF?! For the record, I HAVE a full-time job. It’s called being a single mother.
I know I shouldn’t take this personally, but when a complete stranger stumbles across your blog, reads some of it, and then totally slams you into the ground, without actually knowing your full story, well…. it makes me want to scream and pull my hair out and then crumple into a heap of frustrated, misunderstood tears. That and punch them in the nose.
If I didn’t have an inner critic the size of a mammoth, then this sort of petty shit would slide over me like water off a duck’s back. But you know, I am a sensitive, recovering addict with violent, narcissistic tendencies, and this woman’s comment got right up my nose and under my skin.
And hey, I think it’s OK for me to get shirty since this is my first ever hate comment an’ all. Future hate comments will be censored and deleted without any bad feelings on my part.
In the meantime, oi! Elise whatsername. Get a life. Oh, and do send me a link to your own blog so I can return the favour. An eye for an eye, an’ all that. I would LOVE to tell you how to live your life.
Mon 18 May 2009 at 4:59 am
Ok, let me preface with saying this is not a hate comment. I read your blog because I enjoy your writing style and I think you are very funny. However, as a single mother who has a full-time job on top of being a full-time Mom, who takes care of a house, all my bills(i.e. daycare, rent, car payment)by myself, while attempting to raise a well rounded child, oh and still finds time to have a life without child support…you do complain a lot.
I agree somewhat with Elise whatshername, although I would have approached it entirely differently. It is your life, you do/say what you want, IT’s YOUR BLOG FOR HEAVENS SAKE AND IF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE IT THEY DON’T HAVE TO READ IT. For what it’s worth, you have a pretty good sounding life, no matter how you got there. Although, I wouldn’t change my life for minute, it would be nice every once in a while to go on vacation when I want, or stay home with my son because I can afford too. I hope this makes sense, I don’t want to write too much…
Have a good day and enjoy your Bunny
Mon 18 May 2009 at 6:27 am
Melissa – thanks for your honesty. I mostly started this blog so I could rant, and let off steam about various things I found challenging in life. It is only a partial picture of my life. I actually have a full-time job, I just don’t blog about it. That’s one the reasons I’m so tired all the time, and also how I could afford to go to Hawaii recently (my first vacation in about 10 years). Also, in my defense. I’m ENGLISH. We Brits take take the piss a lot and moan about life. It’s in our nature. Oh, and I also live with my mum and sister, because we can’t afford to live on our own. This blog paints only a very small piece of my life.
Being a single mother is hard. Being a mother is hard. But believe me, I KNOW my life is good. I wake up every day and thank God for my blessings. Just because I don’t blog about it, doesn’t mean it ain’t real. I enjoy my bunny every second of every day, except when we’re struggling with sleep
Mon 18 May 2009 at 8:25 am
I can completely understand your anger in the receipt of your “hate comment”. I probably would have reacted the same way. And you are right, a blog only paints a partial picture of who you really are. People read your blog for inspiration, amusement, advice, whatever. Thats the reason people read any blog. If they feel it necessary to air out negative comments and trash, then it is their own insecurities that got them there in the first place.
I love reading your blogs. I do envy you for being able to spend as much time as you are able with bunny, but hell! I would do the same given the opportunity! And if I felt the need to lash back at a hater, I would do it!
Love ya!
Raina
Mon 18 May 2009 at 1:33 pm
You shouldn’t have to explain a thing about your life. It’s your blog and you can say and do anything you want on it. What Elise wrote was beyond rude and insulting. She made the choice to read your blog – it wasn’t as if anyone forced her to – so she should have kept her snide remarks to herself. One reason why I enjoy your blog is because you keep it real. It’s scary putting yourself out there and you shouldn’t be chided for writing about how you feel. Keep doing what you do!
Mon 18 May 2009 at 9:21 pm
Raina – thanks for your kind words of support and insight into the nature of negative commenters. I’m glad to hear you love me!
Hawaiiana – yes, quite right. It’s my blog and I’ll write about whatever I like. She can take a hike over to someone else’s blog. Thanks for your support!
Wed 20 May 2009 at 8:25 am
The first comment I ever had on my blog was…
“you are going to grow old and die alone with your cats.”
I deleted it. But now, I wish I hadn’t. SO funny these comments… you know? Maybe I’ve just had so many by now. But this is a great response and very valid. People are such creeps.
Fri 22 May 2009 at 12:13 pm
Alaina – thanks. That 1st comment of yours made me laugh out loud. I really appreciate your support. x
Wed 24 Jun 2009 at 6:17 pm
Ugh, people need to get over themselves.
You rock, momma.